condolence is not the word

dear M, I cannot help but pasting your words...

"...We never had thought that she could not overcome this. We were so innocent about cancer, and we were badly informed and misled, or maybe we were in denial. She had always thought that it was the chemo that was causing her the problem. Indeed it was the chemo that broke down her immune system, but by the time she started vomiting and couldn’t hold down food or drink at the end of May, it was actually the cancer that was in full swing. But no one told us so, not in quantifiable terms. One alternative doctor recommended that we go down to Mississippi to seek help (which was difficult given A’s condition), or that he could try but it would be very challenging. The other guy asked us if we know the severity of the situation. Seeing how sick A was we agreed that it was severe, but we did not understand his definition of severity. Then he said something stupid like whether he could help her or not, he would be honest. Not understanding the severity of her condition, we did not act fast enough, and all the time the cancer was eating her up. All the time she was dying.

The conventional doctors were just there to help her die. From the moment she checked into the hospital, they treated her as if she was forgone history. They told me to get her hospice, that they would make her comfortable (I hate that word). All they cared was to get the “do not resuscitate” order from us..."